LOLLIPOPS
Dear "If Selected...",
While watching the Chelsea v Galatasaray game last night I heard Ron Atkinson describe Zola as 'lollipopping the keeper' just before scoring his very individual goal.
Having acquired most of my footballing experience from amateur games I assume that I have not had the privilege of coming across this technical term. Could you shed some light?
Isobel
The Editor replies: Ah ha! Funny you should mention lollipops. Logica star Reevaldo has recently claimed to have invented a trick all of his own which he calls the 'Triple Back Lollipop'. We have not seen it in action as yet, but perhaps we can encourage the Walsall Wizard to shed some light on the lollipop in modern football.
Dear "If Selected...",
Triple Back Lollipop? Is this like the "Beast with two backs" or in Reeves case the "Beast with three backs" -- in which case I do not think I want to know.
:bM
Dear "If Selected...",
If you wish to pursue your nascent career in journalism, you'll have to learn a few things: attention to detail being just one of them. The 'trick' to which you refer (I prefer the term 'dazzling manoeuvre' myself), and which I taught to Mr Rivaldo while in Barcelona (it took him a few hours to pick up, but he's a young lad, he'll learn) is known as the Triple Reverse Lollipop (TM). Not, as you suggest, the Triple Back Lollipop.
As for describing it on paper, well that's impossible. Only a complex 3D (possibly 4D) computer graphics programme could even begin to do justice to the complexities of its grace, skill and breathtaking agility. And none of you would know anything about either complex programming or skill.
For fans of Logica FC, all I can say is: You will know it when you see it.
Reevaldo.
The Editor replies: Well, it seems that the Hole Houdini wishes to keep the Logica faithful on the edge of their seats as regards his new manoeuvre. But we here at "If Selected..." are always grateful for any small crumbs of constructive journalistic advice thrown from high table. Grazie, Senor Reevaldo!
Dear "If Selected...",
I think its great that a player of Reevaldo's star status should take time out of his extremely busy star schedule to drop a line to your humble and fledgling web-rag. His finely crafted and eloquent epistle also leads me to conclude that I was wrong to think I had already seen his Triple Reverse Lollipop (TM) in action.
My misapprehension concerns an incident in the game against Wandsworth Town earlier this season. Characteristic graceful dexterity had already accounted for three defenders, and Reevaldo found a bit of space for himself. It was on this stage that I thought I had seen the great man attempt to unveil the 'dazzling manoeuvre' known as the Triple Reverse Lollipop (TM). However things seemed to go badly awry, and my hero ended up in a crumpled heap on the grass.
Thanks to the master's clarification I am now clear that the manoeuvre is yet to be attempted in public. Indeed, a fellow fan informs me that Reevaldo's 'bambi-on-ice' impression was in fact due to a serious dose of cramp. However, I cannot wait to see the mesmerising maestro's latest piece of conjuring when it is finally unveiled.
Yours excitedly,
A Mad Logica FC Fan
p.s. Reevaldo is my favourite Logica FC player! I think he's really great!
Dear "If Selected...",
I don't pretend to understand exactly what this "triple reverse lollipop" is but I seem to remember Sid attempting to demonstrate something similar at Lu & Caroline's wedding where he would alternately wave his left and right peg over a stationary ball at a speed approaching that reached by a Skoda carrying a grand piano.
Needless to say, much hilarity was had by all.
:bM
Dear "If Selected...",
It has come to my attention through your august publication "If Selected...", that Mr Reeves (aka Reevaldo) has been illegally exporting "tricks of the trade" to foreign powers. I refer, of course, to the infamous "triple reverse lollipop" and its exports to the foreign super-power that is Barcelona.
Although I do not believe that there is any specific law against this act of treason, I feel that your publication would be well within its rights to run a "campaign of hate" against the perpetrator of this heinous crime.
That this is likely to result in gangs of vigilantes invading Highgate, locating Mr Reeves and stringing him up from a hastily constructed yard-arm should not overly concern you.
Yours Faithfully,
Harry H. Wombat
Wombat Domination Enterprises