AWARD SCANDAL
Dear Sir,
My attention has been drawn to the "If Selected..." man of the match award for the recent game against Zeebras, and I have to say that I am outraged.
You seem to have overlooked the player who scored the greatest two Logica goals of this century, as well as putting in a tireless performance of running for a full 90 minutes, in preference for an ageing, lame donkey whose best years are clearly well behind him, whose first touch can be described as 'loose' at best, and who now appears to have all the vision -- but none of creativity -- of Ray Charles.
Perhaps you are now operating some sort of 'inverse performance' criteria to select your man of the match? I'm sure your selection of the so-called 'Reevaldo' must be nothing more than another of the many technical glitches which seem to plague your pages.
Please restore Dav Gautam to his rightful place of honour forthwith!
Name and Address Withheld at Correspondent's request
Dear Sir,
Although I was unable to attend the Logica FC match against Zebras due to a sudden attack of dementia I would like to add my voice to the crescendo of disapproval viz the selection of "Reevaldo" as the man of the match. The same Reevaldo, so I am told, who makes Rodney Marsh look like a team player.
Your august readership may like to know that in a previous existence, the self-same Reevaldo was dropped from his team for, in the middle of a match, standing on the half-way line with his hands on his hips watching another game on another pitch. Even at this early stage of development, his commitment to the team was being called into question.
I am reliably informed (by Mr Sidaway who was also not at the match but for entirely different reasons) that Reevaldo's contribution to a creditable draw would not have been made visible even by a high powered electron micro-scope. So, Mr Editor, listen to the voice of the people and strip Reevaldo of this ill deserved award.
There are parallels to be drawn with Milli Vanilli and Anthony Blunt all of whom had their awards stripped from them and all of whom, like Reevaldo, wiggle their bottoms when they walk.
Yours in sport,
Harry H Wombat
Wombat Domination Enterprises
Highbury