PERSONAL DETAILS
Date of Birth: 14th August 1973
Religion: Sheffield United & England
Height: 5ft 9in
Weight: Too much at the moment.
QUALIFICATIONS
Preferred Playing Position: Anywhere there's a gap in the squad.
Playing Strengths: ...will get back to you on that one.
Playing Weaknesses: Hitting barn doors, fitness and general awareness of the offside rule
EXPERIENCE
Date Joined Logica: 18th August 1997
Logica FC Debut: 7th September 1997: Khellia 0-0 Logica. The reporter of the time noted: "Pace, Hoyland and Burdett all showed good competitive spirit and bursts of skill that will find them pressing for regular selection over the coming weeks."
Previous Teams: Beaumont Hall (Uni) and Old Salesians.
Greatest Footballing Moment: Jointly, scoring six against Wandsworth in the 1999/2000 season, watching England beat Holland 4-1 in Euro 96 and watching Sidaway's face as we scored twice against the Lags in Prague 2002.
Worst Footballing Moment: Every England penalty shoot-out (except for against Spain in Euro 96).
INTEREST
Model Pro (Models His Game on You): Peter Kay in the John Smiths adverts...copies my amazing ability to hit the allotment shed from 25 yards.
Favourite All-Time Player: Gary Lineker - best goal poacher England's ever had (as far as I'm aware anyway).
Pre-Match Superstition: Lucozade/Red Bull cocktail must be downed - probably regret this in 10 years time when I have no stomach lining left.
Interesting Trivia: Once scored an own goal from 35 yards out when I was 12. My main ambition now is to re-enact this scorcher of a goal, but at the correct end. Also once scored a hat-trick during a match when I dislocated my shoulder.
REFERENCES
Supporting Material:
Six Shooter
Stamina
Nominated & Sicknote
Lethal in the Box
Golden
Good Delivery
Goal of the Season
Captain's Innings
Speyer Part