FOOTBALLINGCV
FOOTBALLING
CV
PERSONAL DETAILS
Date of Birth:
19th April 1969.
Religion:
Nottingham Forest & England.
Height:
6' 3".
Weight:
15st 3lbs.
QUALIFICATIONS
Preferred Playing Position:
Big Number Nine.
Playing Strengths:
Height and weight.
Playing Weaknesses:
Can't pass, tackle, shoot, run, dribble or head the ball.
EXPERIENCE
Logica FC Debut:
Away in Milan against a cheating Logica Italy team (in the
1999 World Cup).
Previous Teams:
Whitemoor Primary School, Ellis Guilford Comprehensive School, High Pavement College, West Nottingham Schools, Nottingham City Schools, Parkhead, Aspley Villa, Nottingham Academicals, The Cube, Peoples College, Lilac Hats, Hunters Bar Studs, Britannia Old Boys, Holly Lodge OB, Midland Bank.
Greatest Footballing Moment:
Played at Wembley. 11-a-side, full pitch, 35,000 crowd, set up two goals, skimmed the post from the edge of the box, linked Garth Crooks with Ross King superbly in midfield. BEAT THAT YOU B*STARDS!!!!! [Calm down, calm down - Ed].
Worst Footballing Moment:
Playing for Holly Lodge, I scored the only goal in 1-0 win and finished the game with a bloodied face and shirt (Terry Butcher style). The following week I was substituted by the manager. I asked why and he said he wanted more "blood and snot". I decided to leave the club. Either that or having a perfectly good goal disallowed against Derby whilst playing for Nottingham School Boys. Sheep shagging b*stards.
INTEREST
Model Pro (Models His Game on You):
Niall Quinn (for balance), Des Walker (for finishing), Lee Chapman (for pace), David Ginola (for tackling), Archie Gemmill (for heading), Paulo Wanchope (for co-ordination and passing), Ian Woan (for work rate).
Favourite All-Time Player:
Stuart Pearce (before he bacame a caricature of himself).
Pre-Match Superstition:
I always ensure that I don't lose against the Pups.
Interesting Trivia:
Played for Nottingham School Boys at Football and Cricket. I have a taller brother who did neither of these things.
REFERENCES
Supporting Material:
Cast in Reservoir Lags