Logica continued their disdainful demolition of some of the poorer teams in the division with an emphatic pair of victories over Sportobello in this vital double header. Winning margins of 7-0 and 5-0 took Logica's goalscoring tally to twenty-two in their last three matches whilst new keeper Lee Pendleton has yet to concede a goal. Sadly, some of the most childish behaviour seen on a football field since Johninho was in his petulant pomp may render these results useless.

Everyone was well aware of the potential importance of these two matches. Six points could see us burst clear of the pack chasing the leading two teams, whilst two defeats would see seventh placed Sportobello leapfrog above us. Supremo Groom thus adopted an even more professional approach than usual, naming a fifteen-man squad to be deployed variously in the two games. In contrast, Sportobello turned up late and with only ten men, and Groom would be less than pleased with the opposition's final act that endangered the proceeds of a good morning's work.

As well as the opposition, Logica would have to combat one of the bobbliest pitches ever seen in this country. It was as if The Bobble Gods had employed a whole fleet of Bobble Angels to carefully hand-craft thousands upon thousands of lethal bobbles the length and breadth of the pitch. The surface had the undulating texture of Iain Dowie's complexion, not improved by a light covering of snow in one corner, and it was a tribute to the technique of the Logica players that they were able to play such good football on it. Both teams would also have to deal with a lily-livered referee with a less than firm grasp on the rules of encounter.

The team began in positive mood, and with Denyer and Taylor snapping at the heels of any Sportobello player gaining possession, the opposition were quickly and relentlessly put under pressure. The first goal was not long in coming. Reevaldo and Denyer combined to good effect down the left, and a short pass was played into the feet of Abbott. The striker looked up and spotted Jon Clarke drifting in unmarked at the back of the penalty box. Still keen to worship an the Alter of the Assist, Abbott picked him out with a precisely lofted pass, but Clarke's finish was even better still, as he volleyed first time with his left peg, over the keeper and into the top corner from fifteen yards (1-0).

A second goal was not far behind, when Craig Taylor once more robbed a dithering Sportobello midfielder and strode purposefully towards goal. The Leeds man hit a firm low shot from fifteen yards that the keeper got a hand to, but couldn't keep out (2-0). And it should have been three but for fashion victim Abbott's stubborn insistence that goalscoring is oh so passé. Anticipating a dangerous low cross from Clarke, Abbott got to the ball first and flicked it over the advancing keeper. With the goal at his mercy, Abbott disdained to indulge in such an outmoded art form as scoring and instead volleyed the ball over a gaping goal. If it were not for the man's strong principles, one would have to nominate this as an early contender for the Miss of the Millennium.

Other chances came and went. Reevaldo was weaving his wizardry down the left, beating defenders and the tricky surface with equal ease. Banoub was incredibly unlucky with two good opportunities, as first a firm volley was palmed away and then a blistering point blank shot from an Abbott pass was miraculously tipped over the bar by a full stretch keeper. Quick thinking from Abbott and Clarke eventually yielded a third goal when they worked a short corner that caught Sportobello napping. Abbott's cross could only be half cleared, and Craig Taylor pounced to unleash a blistering first-time shot that had the net bulging (3-0).

Logica were exploiting their one man advantage to the full, and regularly finding either Reevaldo or Clarke in good space on one of the flanks. A slick move down the left found over-lapping full-back Mainwaring bursting to the bye-line and pulling back a sharp ball to Abbott arriving at the near post. With no time to conjure up an elaborate assist, Abbott could not help himself, and instinctively slid home a low first time shot from six yards (4-0). Old habits die hard.

At this point the referee began to assert his incompetence on proceedings. The first half appeared to be drifting well beyond the thirty minutes allotted to each half in a double-header match. Abbott enquired as to whether the referee was aware of the duration of a double header, and was told that he did. We then went on to play a full forty-five minutes. Amidst chaotic scenes, the referee first asserted that we would play a second half of just fifteen minutes. After protests from Sportobello, he acquiesced to their demand to play another full forty-five minutes! When Logica pointed out that we would be here all afternoon at that rate, he compromised with a second half of thirty minutes.

The rossoneri continued in the same vein after the interval. Pressing forward they created chance after chance, with unnecessary over-elaboration rather than good opposition defending proving to be the main obstacle. Reevaldo was in his element dancing past defender after defender with a shimmy here and a subtle shake of the hips there. A fine exponent of the old-fashioned art of the dribble, it is difficult to avoid comparisons with Sir Stanley Matthews when one sees Reevaldo's loping gait in full flow (especially Sir Stan's last season in the First Division when he defied critics and defenders alike at the ripe old age of fifty).

After a number of close calls in the first half when only weak shooting and good goalkeeping foiled a series of dazzling dribbles, the Hackney Houdini finally got his name on the scoresheet by much simpler means. Abbott fed Banoub inside the box, whose clever back-heel returned the ball to his strike partner. Abbott spotted the assist in a jiffy, and played a smart first time ball between two defenders to Reevaldo, who was stood all alone in front of goal six yards out. A cool side foot into the corner was executed in nonchalant fashion (5-0).

Reevaldo followed this up shortly with yet another jinking run past hundreds of defenders. Cutting inside, the wing man unleashed a low daisy cutter of a shot that the keeper appeared to have covered. But the ball hit a quite vindictive bobble just in front of the keeper, and bounced up ludicrously. The Sportobello number one actually did brilliantly to react to this, and somehow managed to tip the exploding ball on to the cross bar. Unfortunately for him, Paul Banoub was showing his striker's instinct by following up, and he was able to rap the rebound into an unguarded net for a well-deserved goal (6-0).

The scoring was completed with a seventh goal as good as the first. Craig Taylor once more won possession in midfield and clipped an accurate pass forward to the feet of substitute Nigel Hoyland. The nippy Sheffielder turned on a sixpence, leaving his marker for dead, and unleashed a thunderbolt from twenty yards into the top corner that left the keeper helplessly wrapped around his post (7-0).

More chances came and went but Logica were now starting to conserve their energies for the second match, and Supremo Groom had wisely made a number of energy conserving substitutions during the second half to preserve tiring limbs and to let Abbott have a fag before game two. As the referee remembered to blow the final whistle on time, Logica had completed half their morning's work in some style, and the players made clear their determination to add a second three points to their pot.