Logica’s Italian international Manlio Trovato is once again at the centre of a Babayaro-esque non-appearance scandal. Having missed Logica’s match against Sportobello back in October due to some legendary sabotage, Trovato was once again noticeable by his absence as the team prepared to face South West Six in a crunch relegation clash last Sunday.

Fleming was at a loss to explain the libero’s absence. "The last e-mail he sent said he was available," bemoaned The Wise Supremo. There then followed some incomprehensible managerial muttering from which only the following snippets could be deciphered: "heavy refuelling last night... ", "phone switched off all weekend... ", and "wouldn’t get this with Dick...".

In the optimistic hope of unearthing another ‘Sabotage Exclusive’, "If Selected..." dispatched an eager news hound to investigate the latest Trovato mystery. However, despite tracking down our man (Logica midfielders please take note - Ed) and eliciting some answers, the plot, as they say, has only thickened.

Trovato proved evasive on the issue when questioned directly about his failure to appear. "There are still speculations on the reason why I couldn't make it," said the talented sweeper. But perhaps Manlio was in the dark himself, for he seems to have sought explanations from others. "Some people say I was contacted by talented team Atletico Van Goof, currently playing in some Division Z in Italy."

At this, our hack brightened up, as he envisaged a "Serie Z Giants Swoop For Multi-Thousand Lira Logica Star" exclusive. These thoughts were quickly banished though, as Trovato went on to recount another rumour that he had heard. "Some other people say I was busy experimenting a truly innovative football manoeuvre which would revolutionise the football world completely (and which would go much further than Reevaldo's 'Triple Back Lollipop’)".

Whilst it is hard to imagine anyone being able to go ‘further than Reevaldo’, the prospect of such a trick is very exciting. And hopefully, if perfected, it might see the light of day - unlike the ‘Lollipop’ which has allegedly only resulted in The Wizard requiring a hernia op.

But there was more as Trovato hypothesised that his absence may be associated with a principled and moral stance against the shameless lack of conscience in the modern sporting gutter press. "Some others also say it was a protest for a kick start to the "If Selected..." Quizlet!" If such a rumour is true, then Trovato’s moral stand is to be commended, for coincidentally the self-same Quizlet has miraculously appeared after many months malingering.

Our interviewer was starting to become suspicious of an elaborate Italian wind-up when one final hypothesis was run up the flag pole. "I left a message on Scott's mobile on Saturday saying that I couldn't make it!" claimed the Italian defender outrageously. Could Trovato seriously be suggesting a communications breakdown amongst the administrative elite of our club? Good Lord! It doesn’t bear thinking about!