One of many fine ideas emerging from the new Supremo's footballing brain was the reestablishment of the Logica FC Annual Awards Dinner. No sooner had the idea popped out, than invites were being sent out, the by now familiar e-polling booth was quickly erected, and an exclusive eaterie was selected in London's chic West End. So exclusive, in fact, that I've forgotten its name, but I think the words "Raj" and "Tandoori" were to be found somewhere above the art-deco marble entrance hall. Not for the first time in the gastronomic history of this famous club.

After some sumptuous feasting on exotic foods of the finest quality, our new leader rose clutching a sheaf of papers and a reverent hush fell over the fifteen or so expectant athletes crammed into the small alcove in the corner. Mr Groom thanked us all for coming, and also stated his sincere gratitude to the thousands who had cast their votes using the splendid technology provided free of charge by this very web-site, "If Selected...".

The Supremo had demonstrated some exemplary resourcefulness in procuring some golden trophies for each of the award winners at the eleventh hour. The trophies were far more impressive than your standard 'plastic-geezer-on-a-plinth' baubles, shaped as they were with similar contours to the real World Cup trophy (although not quite as big), made out of the finest cut-glass, and each containing a refreshing tonic for the man who had obtained the most respect from his peers in a particular category.

First up was the most prestigious award of all, the Logica FC Players Player of the Season Award. The Supremo reported that this had been a close-fought contest between two of our star players, decided only at the last minute by a handful of votes. In the end, Phill Hatton had secured a very creditable 22.2% of the vote, but this had just proved insufficient. Still, there would be consolation for Hatton Minor later in the evening with a whole string of other awards.

Pipping the defender to the title was none other than our new captain, Davinder Gautam, whose consistent hard work and skilful midfield play had earned him 27.8% of the ballot paper nominations. Not only did Dav play in 15 of the 19 games the club played last season, he also scored three goals and formed a very effective central midfield partnership with Tim Wood. Discussions in the Gentleman's Lounge after the dinner all concurred that Gautam fully merited this most praiseworthy of honours.

After presenting the trophy and posing for the obligatory press photographs, Groom moved on to the Goal of the Season nominations. With an impressive forty-one goals to choose from, votes were cast as far and wide as an Abbott strike on goal. Ironically the ageing striker managed a few nominations. One modest member of the electorate nominated Abbott's goal against Wandsworth, because he "could not vote for himself and only saw seven games," before adding somewhat unnecessarily that "let's face it, any goal where Abbott runs half the length of the field has to be worth something." The North London marksman also got a mention for his "assured finish" in the 5-0 demolition of Ironprint

The striker played a supporting role in a nomination for one of many fine Spence goals during the season. The Scotsman's second goal in the dramatic Cup win over Queen Vic was described as follows by an anonymous voter. "Abbott mesmerises a few defenders and turns the keeper inside out before hitting the post. Spence calmly knocks in the rebound. A cameo performance all round." Nigel Hoyland who scored seven goals in the first two games of the season, was also nominated in this category, but perhaps he suffered from concentrating his excellence into such a small time frame so as to blur the memory of the electorate. One voter selecting the Sheffielder's final goal in his one man show against Wandsworth Town could only splutter as a reason "well, it was the sixth one wasn't it?".

Despite similar feats of imagination elsewhere (Dav Gautam's first goal against Zeebras was nominated for the logical reason that voter thought "it was the best goal of the season"), there was a clear winner in this category. Craig Taylor who netted twice in his seven appearances at the end of last season, received an astounding 50% of the votes cast for his blistering 35 yard volley against Chelsea. A spectacular strike well worthy of the award from the young hopeful who many predict will go on to be a Logica Legend.

There was some consolation for Mark Abbott who received his Golden Boot Award (rebranded as the 'The Yellow Boot Award' for one year only) for his slightly less than impressive total of eight goals in the season. Some journalists at least praised the striker's consistency, especially after he gave Hoyland a seven goal start in the campaign. If nothing else, this rather small total does at least emphasise that the goals are being spread around the team, with thirteen different Logica players getting on the scoresheet last season. Even Sidaway notched!

Groom then continued with the much anticipated World Cup awards in the sub-categories of Lag, Pup and Nipper. First up was Kevin Spence who won the Lags nomination for a brilliant individual display in many positions (including goalkeeper) which also saw him strike three goals as the Lags finished third. Reevaldo apparently ran the Aberdonian close to the wire. In The Pup department, Craig Taylor had to struggle to his feet once more to collect a trophy for his outstanding performances in the England midfield. Taylor also notched three times in the competition, and who knows what would have happened had he been on the field and available for the quarter-final penalty shoot-out against the Dutch. Last up was one of Logica's hottest striking prospects, Nich Fazel, to collect the Best Nipper Award. Eerily, Nich also scored three goals in Manchester.

The Pups may have found it difficult to compete on the field of play with the old blokes, but there is one youngster who is certainly challenging some of The Lag's finest in one particular aspect of this club's fine traditions. Phil Rafferty once again walked away with the much coveted Cardboard Box Award for maintaining an international standard of drivel throughout the whole of this summer's tournament. This was the second consecutive year that Phil had lifted the box, and the likes of Read, Clarke, Sidaway and Johninho really need to fine-tune their blathering if they are going to compete in Amsterdam next year.

As the players rounded off their top notch scoff with a cigar, a Kruger, and a brandy, Groom turned to the last page of his speech to read out some special cases who deserved mention. Craig Taylor was nominated for the Dave Challinor Award by virtue of his devilishly long throw-in, whilst Phill Hatton received the first of many mentions in winning the Anti-Dave Challinor Award, which recognised his outstanding services to the foul throw. On the subject of throwing, Pup keeper Gavin Adcock gained a mention for being thrown out of a Manchester night-club in what some would deem a compromising state of dress, although one member of the Manchester public did not see it that way apparently.

There were plenty of nominations in a wide range of categories alluding to the late or non-appearance of players for certain matches. Mark Abbott, Nich Fazel, Manlio Trovato and once again Phill Hatton all received nominations for various sleep, time zone and map reading deficiencies, but a very popular winner of the Volkswagen Award was Phil Rafferty. "If only everything in life were as reliable" opined the voter wistfully.

Phill Hatton was on his feet again to collect the somewhat heavily dubbed Thug of the Year Award for the picking up the most yellow and red cards in the season, whilst Nigel Hoyland limped away with the Darren 'Sicknote' Anderton Award. Keeping on a Spurs theme, Paul Banoub was nominated for the David Ginola Coupe for his services to diving. In the commentary box Dave Richmond was in the box-seat and dangling gold after doing the business in the Big Ron Gibberish Award For Nonsensical Football Terminology. The judging panel apparently studied his entry "easy doors" for many hours without being able to come up with a meaningful explanation for the phrase.

As the evening reached its climax, the retiring Supremo Scott Fleming could not fulfil his final official function without some kind of mention. The new Supremo thanked his predecessor for all his hard work and achievements, his selfless service to this once great club, and stated quite accurately that the Scotsman had left Logica FC in a very healthy state from which he could carry on fighting the good fight. As a mark of honour, Groom then awarded Fleming the final trophy of the evening, The David Coleman "Err, What Happened Next?" Award. The Wise Supremo was apparently nominated for this prestigious honour due to a "succession of Cocoesque slapstick moments whilst wearing a huge pair of comedy gloves". A fine epitaph if ever there was one.

Special thanks are due to The Supremo for organising the whole she-bang as well as the trophies, and to Matt Denyer for his dogged persistence in seeking out the perfect venue for such a prestigious occasion.