It's here. At last. But like any good vintage, especially the French variety, it greatly benefits from time and patience, yielding an end product of such quality that the connoisseurs will be nodding their heads and slavering in appreciation.

The "Reservoir Lags" film is finished, the cutting room floor has been swept for the last time, and the video is released officially today. Director and producer Harry H. Wombat has hand-crafted a celluloid masterpiece, and rumours are already starting in relation to likely Oscar nominations. The movie is loosely based around "The Lions of Lyon" success last summer, and tells the story of fourteen old blokes attempting one last audacious heist.

"If Selected..." is, of course, desperately hanging onto Wombat's coat-tails and trying to bathe in a few stray rays of reflected glory. We have cobbled together the inevitable 'multi-media extravaganza' largely based around a copy of the film script which we acquired by suitably dubious means. Most importantly of all, however, is that we provide you with the easiest means of obtaining a copy of this cinematic landmark. Simply fill in and submit our internet Video Order Form and a copy of the video will be yours within days, weeks or even months.

So without further ado, pucker up those cushions, get the popcorn out, sit back and enjoy the "Reservoir Lags" web experience. Whilst a ludicrous amount of effort has been made to ensure that the content is viewable through any web-browser, we would strongly recommend that you undergo the Lags experience courtesy of Microsoft Internet Explorer (4.0 or higher). That is, if you want to maximise your pleasure via some of the finer points of sight and sound. Which reminds us, there is of course a backing track, so a PC with sound is also highly recommended.

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