Hullo there.

For one week only, I have dispensed with being angry, and am instead happy, glad and delighted...

I'M GLAD! I'M HAPPY! I'M DELIGHTED! I am pleased to see that Logica AFC have 'en masse' gone for the last Logica AFC Christmas Party of this Millennium!

YOU'LL BE GLAD, YOU'LL BE HAPPY, YOU'LL BE DELIGHTED ... when you find out the details of what we've got in store for the evening.

At the end of the day, Logica is a club that exists for only two reasons: To WIN football matches and HAVE some fun. It strengthens the club to see attention being paid to both.

DECEMBER 15th 1999. BURN THAT DATE ON YOUR FOREHEAD SO YOU DONT FORGET IT.

WATCH OUT FOR TEASERS AND TASTERS OF WHAT TO EXPECT IN THE COMING WEEKS.

I'M GLAD! I'M HAPPY! I'M DELIGHTED! I'm proud to be a contributor to the widest mass-circulation Logica AFC Survey ever held!!

YOU'LL BE GLAD, YOU'LL BE HAPPY, YOU'LL BE DELIGHTED ... to register your vote AT THE END OF THIS MOMENTUS MILLENNIUM for the Logica players, goals, moments and minuses of our AGE.

WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED READING THIS COLUMN, GO AND VOTE  IN THE LOGICA FC MILLENNIUM POLL. Make your opinion heard or you will LOSE IT!!

I'M GLAD! I'M HAPPY! I'M DELIGHTED I had last Sunday morning in bed. Who else thought that, eh? BUT I TELL YOU WHAT? I WOULDN'T WANT TO DO IT EVERY WEEK (boss?).

A wise old has-been once said to me "You're a long time retired". I replied "You're a long-time scoring a goal, Mark..." [Top comedy! - Ed.]

Yet at the end of a week when another LEGEND from a bygone age came OUT OF RETIREMENT, I was reminded of the words of the GREAT FREDDIE MERCURY......

"IT'S A KINDA MAGIC..."

NOT CONTENT with missing goal chance after goal chance, NOT CONTENT with coming back from the brink of retirement, ABBOTT goes into print PROMISING MORE THAN HE CAN DELIVER!

Whilst WARRIORS was a fine, powerful drama to usher in the BBC Autumn season, ABBOTT teases the readership of "If Selected..." with the promise of an EIGHT-PART saga only to have DELIVERED a TWO-PART mini-series! How? Why?

If more is less I, for one, have too much.....

OY LUVVIE!!! YOU OWE ALL OF US WHO CLEARED OUR EVENING DIARIES TO WATCH EIGHT EPISODES OF WARRIORS SIX NIGHTS OUT. SORT IT!!!