The Bad Run Of Defeats

by The Bard of Bethnal Green

Grim bells toll, interminable, for the ever-slain
"Managerial fault", "lameness near goal", the e-zines complain.
Depressing, no-bottle: nothing but execrable clods
Miserable star-crossed players, dreamteam can't help but offend football gods.

Never-ending changes fuel fiery admission,
downtrodden defeats precursors bosses abdication.
"Sack the captain" is the popular cry
Most notably heard from Lag alumni.

One win is all it'll take -
to see off this cursed run and ease the ache.
Defend as if the pitch is a battleground,
Hope Abbott gets a lucky rebound.

I offer the secret for park football delight
Formula is 'bed early' on a Saturday night.
No shagging, no curry, no meal by candlelight
Cum Sunday morning, it's a fact, you'll be dynamite.

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In response to a number of queries from the North London legal fraternity, "If Selected..." would like to state categorically that the portrait used on this page is not that of Mr Malcolm Dick, despite the obvious similarities.