It is not unknown for regimes tainted by rumours of a dictatorship at work behind the scenes, to have questions raised as to the legitimacy of their democratic votes. And despite the presence of UN Observers at the "If Selected..." e-Polling Booth, certain groups of a left-wing liberal pinkoe persuasion were yesterday casting aspersions on the outcome of the first Man of the Match vote of the season.

The allegations centre on the use of ruthless acts of physical violence by the poll winner, ("Midfield") General Reevaldo, who finished up with over 50% of the votes cast. Unconfirmed reports talk of a completely innocent bystander being brutally 'taken out' by the merciless Hackney Hatchet-man, and fears have been raised that this undercurrent of violence had a significant impact on exactly where a nervous electorate placed their crosses. If true, this would not be the first time the would-be hole-merchant has been involved in MoM controversy. Reevaldo, who has consistently voiced a personal dislike of the left-wing, was stripped of a Man of the Match award back in his first season with the club, when accusations were made about his associations with a North London gongland mafia.

Reevaldo's supporters were quick to rubbish what they regarded as the vindictive slandering of their man. One anonymous source claimed that "anyone who saw the match in question could be in little doubt that Reevaldo's award was merited. He turned in a performance of great offensive skill, was at the creative hub of every Logica attack, and is looking as fit now as he's ever done." The source did admit to "one moment of psychotic madness", but had strong views on the source of the campaign to blacken the poll-winner's name. "I think its clear that some element of jealousy is at play here," opined the close confidante of the Reevaldo camp. "Someone, perhaps, who didn't get any votes himself; someone, perhaps, who used to be Mr. Reeves' agent, a tad bitter, perhaps, at his new-found redundancy. However, its not my place to cast aspersions."

All of this petty politicking only serves to divert attention from the other players who were all deemed worthy of a mention. Nich Fazel, who was undoubtedly the 'Man of the First Half', gained a well-deserved 9% of the vote for his goal plus an electric right-wing display of pace and tenacity. Harry Gill gained an identical proportion of the vote for an impressive second half debut, whilst pseudo-debutante Keiran Toman was also nominated for a classy performance at left-back. Also in the frame were Craig Taylor for some relentless endeavour in an unaccustomed role in the centre of the park, and Jeff Hatton for a cultured performance at the back which helped to ensure a clean sheet. Despite these fine individual contributions, however, it would appear that it was the savage and brutal agression of Reevaldo that earned the 'respect' of the majority of voters.