Despite an ultimately unhappy ending to this story, Reevaldo continued a fine literary tradition and duly wrote himself into the record books. Not for the first time this season, the author of the match report has run, or in this case trundled, away with the Man of the Match Award, after the Hackney hole-merchant persuaded over 40% of voters to deliver their cross to him.

So is this another case of effective propaganda fooling a gullible electorate? Well, although we didn't see the game, a reliable source indicates that the award was, in fact, well merited. "Yup, Reeves probably deserves it," said an anonymous Supremo. "He certainly seems to be more effective in the middle of the park." Not only that, he has written himself into the record books, as he becomes the first player since the democratic Man of the Match Poll was invented to win three separate MoM Awards in a season.

Ironically, it was Richard McWilliam, playing in Reeves' more familiar position on the left, who ran our reporter closest with a quarter of the votes cast. The pacey wing-man has certainly made a very favourable impression since his debut in November. Despite conceded four goals, the entire back four also polled 8% of the votes apiece: goalscorers Wandering Jez Brown and 'Captain' Mainwaring; plus the centre back double-act of Hatton and Trovato