Some of the more Machiavellian politicians of modern times are well known for the eloquent yet meaningless retort to a tricky question in a desperate attempt to curry favour with the voters. One classic ploy when faced with a searching media examination and little of substance to fall back on, is to bamboozle the audience with a barrage of statistics only loosely pertinent to the subject in hand. Unless Jeremy Paxman is the man doing the probing, the squirming candidate is likely to get away with this metaphorical sleight of foot.

And this appears to be the somewhat dubious means by which this week's Man of the Match has hoodwinked a naive electorate. A landslide 6-0 victory was sufficient to paper over a few cracks in a patchy performance against bottom club Townmead. Enter our man, desperate to leverage maximum personal advantage from the situation. Not content with monopolising the media, Abbott is also to be found blathering about complex means tested calculations which he labels 'Goals per Game Ratios'. These, apparently, show that he is better than the likes of Owen, Shearer and Wright, a claim that surely even the most apathetic voter would raise an eyebrow at? And not even a mention in passing of the number of minutes spent on the pitch! Next we are presented with some purple prose, describing in somewhat self-indulgent detail the accumulation of a classic Abbott foursome - two fannies, a lob, and a penno. Well, you'd fully expect nobody to give two hoots in these modern times, but it seems that nearly two thirds of the electorate fell for this line.

Meanwhile, some far more hard-working colleagues suffered as a result. Despite the propaganda being pumped out on all channels, Paul Mainwaring still managed to gain nearly thirty per cent of the votes for the latest in a sequence of majestic and quietly authoritive performances in the defence department. And Dav Gautam, who could easily have got on his soap-box to shout about his achievement of scoring a fantastic goal during a gruelling ninety minutes of non-stop industry, having not played for nine months, chose rather to maintain his integrity with a dignified silence. And still nearly a tenth of the electorate were able to cut through the spin and recognise his contribution to a much needed victory for Logica.

No, one can only conclude that this is a sad reflection of the lengths that some will go to in pursuit of personal gain in the absence of an effective opposition.