A deeply disturbing turn of events saw this week's MoM poll infiltrated by a flock of student radicals hell bent on undermining democracy. In a flagrant abuse of the constitution, these militant fanatics took time out of their heavy schedule to pile on "votes" for their chosen and unwitting candidate. The Returning Officer's suspicions were confirmed when the total number of votes cast vastly exceeded the size of the electorate, and the innocent victim of this anarchic prank, ace right-winger Paul Raven, maintained his integrity by coming clean about the illegal source of his votes. However, we here at "If Selected..." Towers will brook no threats to democracy, and in a decisive act that Ukranian politicians might do well to heed, moved swiftly to disqualify the unfortunate candidate and thus protect the purity of our poll.

All of which shenanigans only served to deflect some well-deserved praise in the direction of our captain, Reevaldo. A full ninety minutes of uncomplaining midfield graft saw the elaborate hole merchant at his Matthewsesque best. The subtle drop of the shoulder, the most delicate of shimmy's, that well-disguised turn of pace, and Reeves would drift past one, two, three, sometimes more, before feeding a pass into the channels. As the urgency and deficit increased in the second half, our skipper somehow found another gear, hitting third as jinks down either flank were crowned with pin-point crosses that just begged to be converted. And they were.

The first convertee, Nich Fazel, also gained significant recognition for an industrious display that suggested his injury and fitness woes may be at an end, and that he is fast approaching his magnificent form of last season. Certainly his stooping, glancing header was a fine finish, as indeed was Raven's volley for the first. Sadly we will never know how many of the multitude of votes for the youngster were genuine, and in the end the only victim of these subversive acts was ultimately the intended beneficiary himself.