FOOTBALLING CV
FOOTBALLING CV
PERSONAL DETAILS
Date of Birth: 21st May 1968
Religion: Fulham and England
Height: 6' 4"
Weight: 11st 0lbs
QUALIFICATIONS
Preferred Playing Position: Centre Half; Other Position: Right Back
Playing Strengths: Penalties (100% Logica FC record); man marking the "nippy one up front"; scything down the "nippy one up front"; occasional "extending leg" tackles and blocks.
Playing Weaknesses: Throw ins; fouls just outside the box; fouls just inside the box. First touch. Second touch
EXPERIENCE
Date Joined Logica: 16th October 1989
Logica FC Debut: 14th October 1990: Hampstead SDA 0-9 Logica. Away somewhere in North London, against Hampstead SDA. I was supposed to be sub but only 11 turned up. It took half an hour to find a pitch with the luxury of two sets of goal posts. Once we'd found some nets Sidaway wasted no time in scoring a hatful. My debut claim to fame was bringing out a pretty decent save from Abbo in our own goal. I was hooked.
The reporter of the day noted: "The only save [the Logica keeper] made all game was from his own full-back, Ian Clarke, who made an otherwise sound debut in Sidaway's number two shirt. A low shot was going well wide when Clarke instinctively stuck out a leg and diverted the ball goal-wards. A stranded Abbott was initially rooted to the spot, but sprang suddenly into life and just managed to scramble the ball away before it crossed the line."
Previous Teams: Logica was the only team for me. Except England Supporters XI versus Italy during Italia 90.
Greatest Footballing Moment: Dinamo Zagreb 0 Fulham 3, UEFA Cup 2nd Round 1st Leg 31/10/2002. Fulham in Europe ... unbelievable and unthinkable just a few years earlier. Also: Helping to found the Fulham Supporters' Trust (aka Back To The Cottage) and securing Fulham's return to Craven Cottage after a two year exile in Shepherd's Bush.
Worst Footballing Moment: Two years exile in Shepherds Bush. Oh and every time Fulham's very existence has been threatened. Oh and there was that 7-0 defeat at Wigan on a Tuesday night in the rain. Relegation to Division 3 .... you can't ask a Fulham supporter for only one "worst moment". I demand a bigger box to fill in. And I bet Chelsea win the Champions' League as well this year.
INTEREST
Model Pro (Models His Game on You): Terry Angus, cultured Fulham stopper of the early 90's. Awful throw-ins, dreadful positioning but somehow managed to get that crucial tackle in every now and then. No idea how.
Favourite All-Time Player: Gordon "Ivor" Davies. Every one of his record 155 goals for Fulham was a joy, and I probably saw most of 'em. Having met him since he's a fabulaous fella to boot.
Pre-Match Superstition: Wearing the number 2 shirt. I also make it a rule to order a crate of the best Champagne every time Fulham win away.
Interesting Trivia: Scored my one and only Logica FC goal from open play on the pitch immediately behind Craven Cottage. The Footballing Gods really were looking after me that day. I remember running in from the edge of the box to meet a corner with a powerful header in the top corner. The match reporter has obviously nipped off for a fag as it was later reported as being "bundled in" on the line. Typical slack tabloid journalism.
Editorial Note: Ian was Logica FC Supremo from 1993 until 1997.
REFERENCES
Supporting Material:
Cast in Reservoir Lags
Scoring at Ajax