The Supremo had demanded pace and control ahead of Logica's first match of the season against Everyman this morning. His master-plan was to "do a job on them in the first seventy minutes", a vital part of which, he emphasised, was to "score an early goal", whilst "just as crucially, remaining solid at the back". If this was all executed to order, Groom concluded, "their confidence will drain, their heads will drop" and Logica would "be able to control the game at our own pace".

Well knock me down with the FA Textbook on Tactical Genius if that's not in fact exactly what came to pass! Give or take the odd detail. Logica did indeed take the game by the scruff of the neck early doors, and whilst we may only have dominated for fifteen rather than seventy minutes, that was long enough for Nich Fazel to notch the early goal that the Supremo had demanded. And whilst Everyman may have had the better of things for the next fifteen minutes, Logica waited patiently for their second wind, never looked in too much trouble at the back, and indeed achieved their stated goal of demoralising their opponents and controlling the match at their preferred pace (very slow).

Whilst the team may not for the most part have produced the fluent attacking football that they are so capable of, the main surprise was that it took until ten minutes from time to wrap up the points courtesy of a second goal from Damien Sutton. It is a mark of the respect that Groom is now held within the upper echelons of tactical genii circles, that Sven Goran Eriksson could be seen up in the Directors Box making copious notes, presumably including a reminder to include the impressive Reevaldo in the next England Squad as left-field cover for Steve McManaman.

The would-be hole-merchant was to have a mixed day, but he would be at the heart of the majority of Logica's most threatening attacks. He started the ball rolling, reacting quickly to intercept a weak pass and dancing past a defender before being felled unceremoniously 25 yards out. Craig Taylor stepped up Beckham-style and whipped in a dipping shot that seemed bound for the top right hand corner until the Everyman keeper somehow managed to tip the ball over the bar.

In the absence of a number of key players, including Gautam and Wood, the Supremo had shown some inspired imagination to pair Taylor and Jez Brown in the middle of the park. These two contributed to Logica's early dominance with some terrier-like tackling that had the home side on the back foot from the off, and of course Groom had cleverly kept the latter as far away from his own goal as was realistically possible. And it was Brown who next came closest to scoring, unleashing a blistering 20 yarder which, according to his post match interview, "dipped and swerved and lifted", but in any event had the oppo's keeper in big trouble. Unable to hold this pile-driver, it was unfortunate that nobody from Logica was on hand to dispatch the loose ball.

Soon Logica did have the goal their dominance deserved. A Reevaldo corner was headed clear only as far as Brown, who fed his fellow Black Country midfielder out on the touchline. Jinking this way and that, the Walsall wizard could not resist a little nutmeg whilst turning two defenders inside out, before he delivered a low cross right into the danger zone. Fazel got the slightest of touches on the cross as he slid in with a defender, but the keeper managed to block. The Nipper Skipper was not to be denied, however, and reacted quickly to bundle the loose ball over the line from a prostrate position [1-0].

On achieving their goal, Logica seemed to collectively remember their lack of match practice, as they struggled to maintain their ascendancy. Everyman started to see more of the ball, and the game was played in the Logica half for a while. But, save for a couple of long range shots, the visitor's only real scare came when Keiran Toman was forced to head off the goal-line following a corner. Hatton and Mainwaring combined to form a formidable obstacle at the back, and one or other was on hand to nip most Everyman attacks in the bud. For the rest, it was goalscorer Nich Fazel who did most to prevent things even reaching the backline, and he worked so hard at chasing down opponents and getting in some tenacious tackles, that he was forced to retire exhausted at the interval.

Logica gradually resumed the advantage, helped in no small part by another of the Supremo's tactical masterstrokes - Dual Challinor Launchers. The long throw-ins of Taylor have in recent times provided a useful arrow in the Logica offensive quiver. But now they had Toman on the left who could also chuck the thing a fair distance. Any throw-in on either side of the pitch within 40 yards of goal suddenly became a dangerous set-piece as the twin throwers launched their howitzers right into the heart of the penalty area. In truth, this tactic would probably have been a lot more effective if Logica possessed someone who could pose the vaguest of aerial threats in the opposition box. However, Paul Banoub nearly scored from just one such Taylor long throw, being unlucky to see his subtle deflection rebound back off a stranded keeper.

Abbott should perhaps have come closer to extending Logica's lead just before the interval. A bouncing ball eluded his marker, but unaware that the keeper was on a kamikaze run towards him, he plumped for a cross into the box when his usual finish of choice - the lob - would surely have made it 2-0.

Groom replenished his stocks for the second half by handing Harry Gill his debut as replacement for the superb Fazel. Gill was immediately in the thick of the action, embarking on some marauding runs down the right whilst also getting in his fair share of tracking back. This reporter for one was disappointed to find that the lad Gill had a bit of pace about him, for we'd had our Sham 69 seven inch on the turntable all week practicing a particularly tuneful chant of "Hurry up Harry, come on!" Oh well.

The second half continued much as the gaffer had predicted. Logica were largely in control without unduly threatening to extend their lead. Everyman huffed and puffed quite a lot but looked even less likely to equalise. They did create a couple of chances that perhaps they should have done better with, and Fleming was forced to earn his corn courtesy of a couple of adroit saves. First he advanced quickly to block a shot with his chest, and then he performed some adept juggling to stop a goalbound shot creeping into the top corner.

Up the other end, Logica continued to create chances. Abbott killed another long Taylor throw in an instant, turned on a sixpence and fired inches over the bar. The same player was unlucky to be flagged offside when played clear by the same provider. Taylor himself was confident enough to attempt a 50 yard first time volley, which would undoubtedly have claimed goal of the season had it not gone out for a throw-in. Toman and Reevaldo were forging an effective left-wing coalition, and the best move of the half saw these two advance from their own box before feeding Abbott, whose low cross was just cut out before reaching Sutton. The right-wing partnership wasn't faring too badly either, and Taylor, Gill and Sutton combined to play the latter clear in the penalty area, but the substitute's snapshot flew wide of the near post.

So smoothly were things going in accordance with Groom's expertly hatched master-plan, that a fairly blatant penalty claim for deliberate hand-ball raised hardly a murmur of appeal in the Logica ranks, and the referee duly waved play on. There was more controversy in the Everyman box after Reevaldo had set off on one of his characteristically mazy dribbles. Drifting inside one man and past another, the Logica man accelerated into the penalty area only to find the ball nicked off his toe by a defender over-taking in the inside lane. As the Everyman player cut away with the ball, Reevaldo uncharacteristically executed a classic forward's tackle, ruthlessly scything down his opponent with the ball some distance away. The defender took umbrage and squared up to the Logica man, pushing him away courtesy of a palm to the face.

As Reevaldo admitted afterwards, both players should probably have been booked, but the referee proved lenient. The Hackney Hacker found it harder to explain away his hitherto unseen violent streak, unsure what had come over him. "Yes, it was a deliberate foul", confessed the man who had demanded a No-Tracking-Back clause in his Logica FC contract. "Perhaps it was just frustration at a lack of pace, being caught up by the defender. Ten years ago I would have been away and clear."

Ever the consummate professional, Reevaldo did not let this blot on his copybook affect his game, and within minutes he was showing composure in the centre circle to release Sutton with a finely weighted pass that left the substitute with a clear run on goal. Having calibrated his sights with his first effort, Sutton made no mistake second time around, unleashing an early shot of unerring accuracy which flew in off the far post [2-0].

And so Groom could be forgiven a slight smile of satisfaction as he tucked into his post-match Sunday Roast in the Falcon Public House, three points safely in the bag. Deprived of the likes of Richmond, Trovato, Pendleton, Loriot, Gautam, Wood, and Clarke, he had fashioned a tactical master-plan which his charges had followed almost to the letter. Indeed the only conundrum facing the Supremo now, apart from an absence of cigarettes, was whether to accept a very tempting and lucrative offer from the Indonesian FA to prove himself at international level. Such are the quandries of success.