Report by Jeremy Brown

Conditions were perfect, a string of early season victories had attracted a bumper crowd, everyone had remembered their boots and Reeves had managed nearly ninety minutes sleep. Surely nothing could prevent Logica from maintaining their record breaking run? Maybe it was the presence of Mrs. Supremo and Frau Lurch in the crowd, two women well acquainted with ill-fortune and disappointment, but Logica instantly shrugged off the pre-match confidence born of successive victories and failed to find their rhythm.

Buck, usually so commanding, for once struggled to impose himself in the middle of the park. Gautam was unable to find the underside of the bar from 30 yards. McWilliam, normally adept at ghosting in behind the defence, was betrayed by the deafening chorus of flatulence announcing his every step. Even livewire Reevaldo seemed jaded after bustin moves non-stop in a 12 hour hip-hop marathon, and could be seen looking wistfully at the Supremo whenever the bench was mentioned.

The defence were equally at odds. Groom, victim of an unpunished, two-footed lunge in the first minute was left limping badly. Brown seemed confused by the presence of only one opposing striker and it was left to Hatton and the impressive Marsh to repel a series of early Everyman attacks. Logica were forced on to the back foot from the start.

The strikers did their bit with a constant barrage of criticism that everyone found enormously helpful, but despite their best efforts Logica soon found themselves behind for the first time this season. Following a neat one-two in midfield the ball was played into the box. Hatton and Booth seemed to have it under control until the former was unceremoniously shoved over and the ball poked home. Inexplicably, the referee allowed the goal to stand before cheerfully announcing that there had probably been a foul. [0-1]

Still Logica struggled to make an impression, though the referee seemed keen to make amends, finding reasons to award Logica a series of free kicks. All were carelessly wasted. Finally Marsh took it upon himself to impose some order. Displaying a touch few thought possible with a pair of size 18 iron hooves he initiated a series of attacks from the left wing as LFC finally began to create chances and with help from the referee forced an equalizer. Exchanging passes with Reevaldo from a throw near half-way, Marsh evaded his shambling team-mate’s attempts to tackle him and fed chief goal-hanger Abbott just inside the area. Before he even had chance to dive the referee pointed to the spot and the same player gleefully slammed the penalty home to level the scores [1-1]. A poor and largely incident-free first half thus ended all square.

At half-time Groom pulled himself off, giving Hoyland the chance to advance his claims for a permanent spot at full back with an assured display. The defence regained their shape and Logica assumed control. Everyman struggled to make an impression after replacing one of their best players with a hopeless fat bloke and it seemed only a matter of time until Logica scored again. Chances began to arrive, especially following the introduction of Clarke and Taylor. Then against the run of play Everyman scored. A badly misdirected pass from Hatton was heroically rescued by Brown who found himself facing insurmountable odds. Despite a series of brave and magnificent tackles he was finally beaten and the ball broke into the box. Booth got a hand to the shot and probably should have saved it but even Brown’s athletic attempt on the line was not enough to keep the ball out [1-2]. Probably.

For a time it appeared that Logica would lose. Confidence and discipline appeared to drain away in an increasingly disjointed performance and fat bloke was presented with a clear chance to put the result beyond doubt from 8 yards. He scuffed his shot, Booth saved, and Man of the Match Marsh decided enough was enough.

Freed from his defensive duties the left-back combined well with Taylor and Gautam to launch a series of attacks from the left flank. This steadied the whole team and Logica pressed hard for a second equalizer. Following a series of near misses Marsh picked the ball up in his own half exchanged passes with Taylor and launched the ball beyond the far post where he picked out Abbott. The wizened front man rose above the last defender to direct a header against the crossbar. As the ball rebounded Reevaldo met it mid-saunter and volleyed home to level the score. [2-2]

The equalizer came with just minutes to go, but there was still time for Logica to squander two further opportunities to take all three points. First Marsh again lumped the ball forward, and it fell invitingly for Clarke 10 yards out. But with the entire goal to aim at, he volleyed over. Unperturbed, Logica put together one final neat passing move, which culminated with Abbott laying off a first time pass into the path of Buck. The midfielder controlled the difficult pass in a trice, and conjured up an exquisite lob that seemed goalbound. But with the keeper stranded helplessly, the ball drifted just inches the wrong side of the post.

In truth, a win would have flattered Logica, and all in all this was a game best forgotten. Indeed, this correspondent has done so already.