One of the redeeming features of double headers is that, in the event of a woefully inept performance in the first game, the second game offers an immediate opportunity to put matters right. But having been flattered by the earlier 0-1 scoreline, Logica tentatively reached for this opportunity at immediate redemption with one hand, and were perhaps a tad fortunate to emerge with a point.

Bruninho's prevarications over squad selection were made far easier by Howarth's early departure and Abbott's antique hamstrings. Of the fourteen remaining players, the stand-in Supremo placed himself, Hoyzone and Sutton on the bench to start with. The Arms had even less decision-making to do, and Logica roused themselves with the assertion that the eleven Gardeners would surely be tiring any time now, and a little more application might allow them to take an even share of the morning's spoils.

With the benefit of hindsight, both teams could have saved themselves the effort of working out tactics, for the outcome of this match was way out of their control. The man in black had had a poor first game, but now decided to take refereeing ineptness to a higher plane. So poor and influential were his decisions, that the outcome was almost random. Not even the Football Gods could exert any sway over the next hour's endeavours in the face of such all-powerful bungling incompetence.

Why is it always the neatly turned-out and meticulous ones who are the worst? Appearing fifteen minutes before kick-off, our arbiter for the morning carefully placed his neatly packed bag exactly on half-way and proceeded to tell Logica captain Jeff Hatton that he would not stand for any backchat, swearing or jewellery. His decision in the first game to deny Buck a penalty after a quite blatant foul defied belief. After Trovato was kicked in the face by a high boot in the same game, the Logica defender was required to walk fifty yards to the referee to be lectured on his unacceptable behaviour.

However, this all paled into insignificance compared to his "decisions" in the second game. He set the ball rolling by lambasting the Logica Supremo for not keeping up with play in his role as linesman. Groom, who despite being unfit to play had kindly volunteered to help out since the eleven man oppo could not provide a lino, was a good five yards away from the last defender. The absurdity of this pernickitiness was exceeded by its hypocrisy minutes later. Gautam advanced down the inside right channel but by his own subsequent admission fluffed a shooting chance courtesy of an extreme bobble which caused him to fall comically without a defender in close proximity. With both teams readying themselves for a goal-kick the referee, who was still in Logica's half (I jest not), pointed to the penalty spot. Disbelief all round. However, Noobie is not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, and expertly slotted home the penno [1-0].

With the wind at their backs and a goal to the good, Logica dominated the first half of this second match, and were able to add a second goal on their own. A Reevaldo corner was deftly flicked on at the near post by Dav Gautam, and the ball looped perfectly over a helpless keeper and into the net [2-0]. Further chances were carved out, with the excellent Lambert at the heart of most of them. He came closest to adding a third when he volleyed a bouncing ball inches over the bar.

The referee decided that he needed to re-assert his influence once more. Taylor launched one of his trade-mark long throws into the box. A defender won the ball in the air, and another Gardener skewed a headed clearance towards the bye-line. His attempted hook to stop it running behind for a corner failed, but the referee decided that this was a goal-kick despite three consecutive and clear touches from the defending side. His decisions were not merely bad judgement; they were for the most part wholly inexplicable.

Logica now had merely to protect a two-goal advantage for thirty minutes to secure three points. Admittedly they were playing into the wind, but surely the eleven Gardeners would be exhausted after ninety minutes of gruelling endeavour? Seemingly not.

The Arms had already extended Booth a couple of times as well as hit the inside of a post when they pulled a goal back in predictably controversial circumstances. Banoub, wrestling for possession on half way, was clearly pulled back. Obviously a free kick to his opponent thought the referee, and whilst Logica looked heavenwards in disbelief, the Gardeners played a quick ball into the channel. A pacey winger nipped past Hatton Major and played in a lovely low cross that was slid home at the near post [2-1]. Noobie was later to be booked for opining "That was a poor decision, ref." Stating the bleedin' obvious really.

But this was almost an arguable decision compared with the referee's next intervention. A Gardener received the ball some three or four yards inside the penalty area with his back to goal, only to find Hatton Major nick the ball off his toe with some neat anticipation. As the Logica defender strode away with the ball, the sound of a distant whistle prepared the Logica players for the worst. But angry appeals against a penalty decision were stopped in their tracks when the referee instead awarded a free-kick to Arms just outside the box. Two grossly absurd wrongs don't make a right, but a Gardener never-the-less unleashed an inch-perfect free-kick that zipped into the top-right hand corner of Logica's goal, with Booth given no chance [2-2].

When Gardener's quickly added a third minutes later, courtesy of a brilliantly executed half volley [2-3], the game seemed up for our hapless and helpless heroes. But there was still time for one last abominable decision. Despite lambasting his pair of linesman regularly, the referee continued to ignore their indications, preferring instead to make some random judgement from some fifty yards away or more. So by the time the final whistle approached, his "assistants" had long since given up flagging anything. One final burst from Steve Lambert was enough to take him past a couple of opponents, and as he approached the last defender he slipped the ball to his left, where Hoyland waited at least five yards offside. Nothing would surprise anybody now, so the Logica striker made sure he put the ball in the net before wheeling way in half-hearted celebration. Predictably the referee was somewhat off the pace of the game, and duly pointed to the centre-circle to indicate the award of a goal [3-3]!

The Gardeners were understandably livid, and the referee was quick to blow the final whistle before scuttling away to his little black bag on half way. Both teams were incredulous at the performance he had given which had regularly defied belief. The only thing to be said was that he was so inept, that he could in no way be accused of bias.

Logica certainly could not claim to have been robbed, for their performance was poor. If anything they had probably benefited slightly more from the irrational decisions, with Gardeners scoring two referee-unassisted goals to Logica's one. But the real tragedy was that two good-natured footballing sides had been provoked into immense anger, and a good game of football had been ruined. This man should be struck off the refereeing register before he instigates a Sunday morning riot.