Some Wildean paraphrasing seems to sum up the situation. To lose to a fifth division side in the second round of Little Ron might be regarded as a misfortune; to lose to a fifth division side boasting just ten men looks like carelessness; but to ship eight goals in the process is downright humiliating.

Probably the least said about this game the better, but it is unfortunately our remit to record both the highs and lows of Logica footballing endeavours for the annals of history. It has to be said, however, in the many years spent covering this team, our correspondent is struggling to remember a more embarrassing result.

There were some vaguely mitigating factors. Supremo and goalkeeper was unavailable, and probably just as well or he would have had no voice left at all come Sunday afternoon. The team was also missing some of its biggest stars, with the midfield (or latterly defensive) fulcrum of and the most sorely missed.

The first half seemed bad enough, during which there was little to choose between the two teams for the most part, except of course the number of players on the pitch. It was an open half with plenty of chances at both ends as the forwards dominated. Logica were relieved when Tooting missed a penalty after had mistimed a tackle from behind. At the other end, produced a neat turn before curling a left foot shot inches wide of the post from just outside the box. The same player was a similar distance wide of the target when debutant was first to a corner: was quickest to react to the loose ball, but fired it over the bar.

Then, what seemed at the time like disaster struck when 10-man Tooting took the lead. The break into the box was a little too easy, and although stand-in keeper did well to block the first shot, an unmarked Rover at the far post had the easy job of side-footing into the empty net [0-1]. This was perhaps the most mystifying aspect of the whole ninety minutes: despite having a player less, Bec seemed to have men in space all over the park.

The only bright spot of the morning was that Logica responded quickly. had a shot from distance half blocked, but the ball rolled into 's path and this time he made no mistake, keeping his head before side-footing accurately just inside the near post [1-1]. fired a fizzing free-kick over the bar, and rolled back the years if not the ball, dancing dexterously past two helpless defenders along the bye-line before making a complete dog's dinner of his pull-back as colleagues queued up to give Logica the lead. Meanwhile, was one of the few to show the necessary application during the first half, giving it 100% and chasing down every lost cause on the left flank.

The last five minutes of the first half were seemingly decisive. Tooting's lively forward burst past a couple of challenges before lethally curling a shot just inside the far post [1-2], and Logica were still reeling from this shock when Rovers bundled home a third on the stroke of half-time [1-3]. There were harsh words at the interval in the Logica camp, and replaced the ailing , moving straight into the centre of defence with the aim of allowing to provide some bite in midfield.

But if the first half was disappointing, the second was woeful. Within minutes, Rovers had won another penalty and this time there was no mistake [1-4]. Collectively, Logica now threw in the towel, and a mixture of poor defending and disbelieving Bec ebullience saw the visitors add four more goals as the match descended into shambolic ignominy for the home side [1-8]. The worst of it was that, with perhaps one exception when he miscued a clearance, there was little could do about any of the goals, and the stand-in keeper did pull off one spectacular save, diving full length to tip a long range effort brilliantly around the post.

As if to rub salt into their own gaping wounds, Logica finished the match by showing just how it should all have been done, exploiting their numerical advantage to carve out two not-really-any-kind-of-consolation-at-all goals. pulled wide to find space on the left and was fed by . The aging striker beat his man, hit the bye-line and looped in a cross to the far post. at the back stick did the unselfish thing, cushioning a volley back across goal between keeper and solitary defender to enable to tap into an empty net [2-8].

In the dying minutes, another sweeping passing move took full advantage of the extra man. 's run this time was into space on the right, and this time he was played clear by . Rather than shoot, he rolled a pass first time behind the last defender to leave with just the keeper to beat. The Rovers' gloveman somehow managed to block 's finish, but the Logica man showed quick tenacity to win the rebound and return the compliment to , who calmly side-footed past keeper and defender on the line [3-8].

The only straw-clutching silver linings for Logica was that at least this defeat came in the Cup, with the club's most pressing business very much in the league, and it is to be hoped that the collective performance can only improve when the likes of , , , and return to the fray. But if Logica produce many more displays as poor and lethargic as this one over the next six months, they may well find themselves playing Tooting Bec Rovers again next season - in the league.