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How do you rate your team's chances in World Cup 2002?
To be perfectly honest, it's difficult to predict how the Nippers will fare this time around. It is however about time that they added to their solitary World Cup victory, (over Manchester, Wooden Spoon Final 2000). At times last year they showed promise, but seemed to leak goals from all over the pitch - this was particularly evident against the French who beat them 5-0 in the opening game.
I do think I'm safe in saying that they'll improve greatly on last year's overall showing. The Nippers problem is that they've never 'gelled' as a team, unlike the Pups or Lags who've always had a consistent group of players that are generally used to playing with each other. I don't think the Nippers are in a position to win it, but a quarter-final place potentially against the Lags would be considered a fine performance. In terms of group placing, I think the three other teams (Nippers, North Germany, Czech republic 'B') will be fighting it out for that coveted runners up spot behind the group seeds France.

Give us a quick intro to the players in your squad. Who are the dangermen and budding World Cup stars?
The England World Cup Committee has assembled what looks like, on paper anyway, a fine squad with some experienced World Cup campaigners in the team. The Nippers this year are being led by the old head of Groomario Senior, who has a wealth of experience at coaching league teams and who now feels it's time to turn his hand to international management. The players at the manager's disposal are:
Jacob Gow - Previously an experienced Pup, will bolster the midfield and defence.
Henry See Toh - Like Gow, previously a Pup. A competent footballer who's main task will be one of ball winner.
Chris Whiting - An experienced Nipper, primarily a midfielder-come-striker with his club but seems to play his international football at the heart of defence.
Gavin Adcock - A good international goalkeeper and not a bad striker to boot. Gets easily distracted by the ladies and I'm sure will put in some fine off the field performances.
Graham Holden - A newcomer to the Nippers and the likely captain of the squad, plays his club football in the centre of the park and that's where he'll start in Prague. Capable of winning a match single-handed, and watch out for his free kicks, they aren't to be missed. The Nippers star man.
Keith Egmore - A veteran of club football who thought his international days were numbered but was on hand when a late call up came his way. Will almost certainly play at centre back.
Herr Duff - Been there, seen it and done it all. Impossible to say how the man will perform on the pitch, guaranteed to play a blinder in the bars though.
Andy Newton - An unknown quantity and could easily be distracted by Herr Duff's off-pitch activities.
Harry Gill - Unlucky not to find himself in the Pups, a combative player who will get stuck into the oppo early doors.
Damien Sutton - Also unfortunate not to be Pup, a speedy winger who can be lethal on his day, very quick and will mostly likely be employed wide on the right.
Jas Badeshia - A very talented striker and if the Nippers progress it's likely the goals will come from this man.
Phil Rafferty - Experienced campaigner, this being his fourth World Cup finals appearance, could be his swansong.
Mike Linfoot - a useful midfielder, will be very reliable on the ball if unspectacular.
Matthew Reece - a hard working defender who won't let anybody down. Will get very distracted by the bars however so is unlikely to be at best for the early morning games.

How do you rate the oppo? Who do you tip to win this years tournament?
The competition has been getting stronger and stronger in recent years and there's not a single team that could be considered a pushover. As the saying goes, there's no easy games at this level. Well, apart from Saudi Arabia that is. As to who is going to walk away with the trophy, Italy are certainly the bookies' favourites to take the trophy home for a fourth consecutive time, but as the Pups showed last year, they aren't invincible. The Czech's will be strong on their own turf, as will Holland, the Lags and the French.

What do you reckon to The Lags / Pups chances?
The Lags have a large squad this year with a wealth of talent at their disposal, and it would be folly to bet against them at least making the final - they have the best chance out of all the English teams. The Pups squad is very settled as it was last year and though they should qualify from the group stages, it's hard to see where the goals are going to come from to take them all way.

How have your team’s World Cup preparations been going?
With the Nippers spread far and wide it's been impossible to organise anything that might resemble training. I'm assured however that each of the squad members having been practising for the event in the bars so they shouldn't be outclassed in that respect!

How do you think your team will cope with the pressure of a big international tournament?
With the experience in this squad I think the Nippers will handle the pressure without any problems. There's certainly no pressure on them to succeed, as there is in the Lag and Pup camps.

What will you be doing to ensure that your players will not succumb to the lurid, potentially performance-degrading distractions of Prague?
I envisage that every member of the squad will be professional and be tucked up in bed nice and early. I believe a 4am curfew has been set to encourage the players to get at least two hours sleep.

Which of your players are in the running for the Cardboard Box Award?
As far as the Nippers are concerned Rafferty and Reece will be the main contenders and I can't see anyone else getting near these two.