It was the final day of the season and much was at stake. The Bald Eagles appeared to have thrown away the title the previous week after being held 1-1 by Kew Green, whilst Broadway were gifted three points courtesy of the usual glut of shambolic match awards that seem to round off every season. That left the top two teams level on points, but with Broadway in pole position thanks to a goal difference that was four superior. If both teams were to win on this last Sunday, then the Eagles would have to better Broadway's margin of victory by five goals if they were to be crowned Champions.

A tall order, and Broadway were thus quietly confident. Their final game was against lowly Welham, who hadn't played since an insipid 1-0 defeat at the hands of the Dragons over a month ago. Meanwhile, they also would have had high hopes that a combative Logica side could do them a favour by taking a point off the Eagles, or at least restricting their rivals to a narrow victory. After all, Logica had one of the best defensive records in the division, and had been quite vocal in stating they weren't intending to simply make up the numbers at somebody else's party again.

The controversy began earlier in the week when the Logica announced a Lagless squad. Was secretly preparing for the World Cup with a Pup warm-up match? Or had he ruthlessly decided on a short-sighted "youth" policy by axing and , both of whom enter their fifth decade this month. Either way, Broadway fans would have been aghast to see a line-up lacking Logica's two best players, not to mention their top-goalscorer and top-assister.

Fuel was added to the conspiracy theorists' fire when a news blackout was ordered on the eve of the match, with no reporters allowed access to the Riverside Lands Stadium on Sunday. Early on the morning of the match rumours began circulating - unchecked in this journalistic vacuum - that the bulk of the Logica team had been laid low with food poisoning, or some other unspecified ailment. Any suggestions of a postponement were quickly quashed by the no-nonsense Sportmans League mandarins, who in fact ordered the Eagles-Logica match to kick off 30 minutes earlier than the Broadway-Welham game.

It subsequently transpired that talk of illness was inspired by a glimpse of the gaffer disembarking from the team bus and shambling into the stadium. "I might have looked as if I had a hangover, but I was just tired really," insisted afterwards.

In reality, the staggered kick-off times provided Broadway with no advantage, since the media ban at Chiswick meant they would be unable to learn the Bald Eagles result before their match finished. Roused by these dubious pre-match events, a fired-up Broadway went out and thrashed Welham by six goals to one. One can imagine the celebrations after the final whistle down at the Don-o-Drome as Broadway fans calculated that the Bald Eagles would have to beat Logica by ten goals to pip them for the title...

As with the traditional MOTD inter-leaved last-day highlights, we can now cut back to the Riverside Stadium to watch the drama unfold. Despite the media ban, one resourceful was making surreptitious short-hand notes on the back of a fag packet throughout the game, and "If Selected... " was thus able to secure a first-hand account of this scarcely believable match for a not inconsiderable sum. To heighten the suspense, we will reprint the notes verbatim.

Logica actually start ok. We don't threaten, but neither do they. Eagles noticeably nervous, but win corner after about 20 minutes. Swung in and headed home by swooping Eagle. Unmarked. has no chance. A second follows as striker waltzes past entire Logica defence and hits low into corner of net.

Bit of a lull follows. Logica actually create chance. in clear after one-two with , but has more time than he realises. Shoots tamely at keeper. Eagles win free kick on edge of box after foul by . Kick beats the wall but somehow gets across to miraculously push it around post. But goals three and four quickly follow. Third is a harmless punt. shepherds but striker lobs home anyway. Missed fourth goal as lighting a ciggie.

Rousing half-time talk about pride falls on deaf ears. Bright start to second half though as Logica actually get ball into oppo's box, but then hobbles off with a sore hammy. A few half-chances for Logica but don't trouble the Eagles number one, who has a very quiet day without looking overly convincing.

Home side getting frustrated and the call goes out to up their game. They want at least fifteen goals apparently. A bit unambitious I feel. They move forward en masse in elaborate 2-3-5 formation that flummoxes Logica. So many runners coming through and not being picked up. They start to score goals for fun. Miss goals five and six whilst lighting a fag. I think their main striker has about six by now though.

goes off, and enter the fray. Luckily still able to take notes. Eagles win 34th corner which results in an awesome save from , somehow getting hand to powerful header and pushing onto the bar. scores the seventh whilst I'm lighting another ciggie. Soon calls for the ball at the same time as . Comedy collision a la Laurel and Hardy ensues predictably. Eagles striker rolls ball into empty net.

manages to forge our only decent chance, but instead of cutting the ball back from a tight angle shoots and it gets cleared off the line. makes an awesome stop on our own line. Unfortunately clears it against striker's leg and it flies into net. That's nine I think, and I'm out of fags. Their striker clearly thinks he's Ronaldinho and now scores an absolute belter amidst yet more non-existent defending. League Mandarin blows whistle and puts us out of misery. Lights go out on Broadway.

Logica thus ended the season with a certain symmetry, given the 8-0 drubbing that opened the campaign. That initial defeat was at the hands of Broadway, so the tried and tested playground calculator ratifies Bald Eagles as deserved Champions.

Afterwards preferred to concentrate on the impressive Bald Eagles rather than Logica's 'fin de season' performance. "Overall, the Eagles were hungrier for the result. They were too quick, and had bags of skill on the ball throughout their team. They won nearly every tackle and second ball. They'll do very well next season [in a higher division] as they play neat, passing football at speed." The jury is still out on what kind of football Logica were playing this morning.

We have published the FINAL Division Two League Table but we have declined to include the glut of post-season match awards that saw, for example, Spectra awarded nine free points for no apparent reason whilst we have three pointless fixtures unplayed. Also the FINAL Divisional Results Grid.