It was only a few months ago that the pale autumn sun was shining and thousands upon thousands of Logica footballers wanted to strut their stuff on the bowling green surfaces of the Stade d’Ilea each Sunday morning. The Supremo had a weekly selection headache, and letters appeared in the pages of the Times complaining at the injustice of the selection policy.

Then came ShabbyGate. Logica Football Club was suspended for over two months because a certain petulant hole merchant refused to pay a fine for his booking against Everyman. As the case ascended through the various labyrinthal hierarchies of administrative justice, an eager and unbeaten squad were left with their feet up on Sunday mornings. Curiously during this time, Logica advanced all the way to the Quarter Finals of the Ron Halfacre Challenge Trophy, where they were knocked out by Lillington. All this without a ball being kicked.

Finally, the ShabbyGate file reached an in-tray at Soho Square, and as the professional mandarins at the FA started to take an interest, Reevaldo caved in. By selling a couple of his suits, he just managed to raise enough money to pay his fine, and Logica Football Club were freed into the wilds of the Wandsworth and District League once more.

By this time, of course, the sun had ceased to shine, black clouds were everywhere, and muddy fields awaited those finely tuned athletes turning out on a cold December morning. Curiously, the Supreme Groomo could now only find eight squad members willing to do some strutting, although he was able to recruit two newcomers in Martin Lee and Dom Donald, who he tossed straight into the big match cauldron.

Even more curiously, in a man management exercise straight from the Clough Handbook, Groom awarded the club captaincy to Reevaldo, as if to publicly reaffirm his faith in his wayward and troublesome star. Having reeled off some hackneyed lines about it "being an honour to captain one’s club," the Hackney Holester’s first act as Captain was to ban the press over some minor inaccuracies published during the ShabbyGate scandal.

Consequently, we can do little but repeat some second hand titbits regarding this rather disappointing first defeat of the season. It is alleged that the ten men of Logica battled gamely for over an hour, at which point they were still only losing by a single goal. The Captain himself and Fazel are believed to have had chances to equalise during this time, but as legs tired, three late goals gave the final scoreline a rather emphatic tinge.

Despite the ban, some fairly accurate quotes were smuggled out of the press box after the game. "I could ask no more of my charges," opined the Captain. "They all gave it 120%". Other sources, who wished to remain anonymous, claimed that Reevaldo had flourished in the role of leader, and turned in an inspirational performance that might even be described as a ‘captain’s innings’.

Meanwhile the Supremo eagerly awaited the return fixture. "They were quite a good side, but I’d fancy our chances with a full complement of players," he said before providing a testament to the effort of the Logica ten. "We gave it everything for an hour or more. I’ve never come off a football field feeling so knackered," gasped Groom. Which, let’s face it, is no mean feat.